The College Freshman's Don't Book / in the interests of freshmen at large, especially those whose remaining at large uninstructed & unguided appears a worry and a menace to college & university societ
Date: 2013-04-04T00:00:00+00:00
Keywords: College freshmen -- United States -- Life skills guides

The Project Gutenberg eBook of The College Freshman's Don't Book

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: The College Freshman's Don't Book

Author: George Fullerton Evans

Illustrator: Raymond Carter

Frank Ingerson

Release date: April 4, 2013 [eBook #42467]
Most recently updated: October 23, 2024

Language: English

Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/42467

Credits: Produced by Henry Flower, Emmy and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This file was
produced from images generously made available by The
Internet Archive/American Libraries.)

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COLLEGE FRESHMAN'S DON'T BOOK ***

HELPFUL DONTS

THE COLLEGE FRESHMAN'S
DON'T BOOK

IN THE INTERESTS OF FRESHMEN AT LARGE
ESPECIALLY THOSE WHOSE REMAINING
AT LARGE UNINSTRUCTED & UNGUIDED
APPEARS A WORRY AND A MENACE TO
COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY SOCIETY THESE
REMARKS AND HINTS ARE SET FORTH
BY G. F. E. (A. B.) A SYMPATHIZER

THE ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHARLES FRANK INGERSON
THE DECORATIONS & INITIALS BY RAYMOND CARTER
PAUL ELDER AND COMPANY
PUBLISHERS ::: SAN FRANCISCO

TO
H. H. C.
TOGETHER WE WERE
SMALL FROGS
IN THAT GREAT ACADEMIC PUDDLE
THE OLDEST IN OUR LAND
AND
IN MEMORY OF THE POLLIWOG STAGE
I DEDICATE TO YOU
THIS PLUNGE

Copyright, 1910
by Paul Elder and Company
San Francisco

CONTENTS

| Page
As to the Place | 1
As to Settling Down | 3
As to Dress | 11
As to Dining | 15
As to Lectures and Studies | 18
As to College Organizations and Friends | 26
As to Things in General | 32

ILLUSTRATIONS

Helpful Don'ts, Frontispiece

Opposite
Page

The weather is generally the only thing about a College Town not yet educated | 2
Don't overdo the decoration of your room | 8
Don't dress too sporty | 12
Don't monopolize the conversation at the table | 16
Don't fail to keep in mind the steps of descent | 24
Don't answer back if the Coach speaks harshly to you | 28
Don't pawn your watch during your first year | 34

AS TO THE PLACE

THE COLLEGE TOWN

ON'T imagine that you own the College Town from the moment you strike it. Remember, there are prior claims, and you're not the first squatter.

ITS WEATHER

Don't expect the College Town to furnish you with good weather; because it won't. The weather is generally the only thing about a College Town not yet educated. Of course, if you happen to have come from Lapland or Patagonia, and do not know what good weather is, the weather here may suit you. The oldest inhabitants in a College Town live to be very old; this is to be accounted for by the fact that they are kept alive by their curiosity to see what kind of weather is going to develop next.

THE COLLEGE SIGHTS

Don't forget that sight-seeing relatives and others coming on a visit to the College, must see the Library, the Gymnasium, the Dining Hall, and the Athletic Field. These, and the Campus, are generally all the sights there are. It is well to get this list carefully in mind early, as it saves you from a panic at the last minute. You often think that you will explore the place and get something new to show people; but this you never do. The above list is a fairly accurate one, and it suffices. Those whom you are guiding about always pretend they are dreadfully interested and excited about every thing in turn. On your first trip as official guide, you yourself see a great deal; on your fiftieth, you try not to.

THE WEATHER IS GENERALLY THE ONLY THING ABOUT A COLLEGE TOWN NOT YET EDUCATED

AS TO SETTLING DOWN

YOUR ARRIVAL

ON'T think that your mere arrival at College has made you able to relieve Atlas in holding up the World. The World's idea of you at this point is, that you're something like a gold-fish just let loose in a glass globe. It will begin to expect something of you when you're dumped into the big Ocean.

YOUR RESIDENCE

Don't, if you can possibly side-step it, begin to live in a place which you do not like. The Blue-Willies may lurk in the corners. Many a Freshman changes his residence about the mid-year, because he has not made a careful selection at first. The moving often entails cracked wash-bowls, broken pictures and casts, stifled oaths, and a sense of great unrest not appropriate to the season.

YOUR LANDLADY

Don't treat your Landlady shabbily if you happen to live in a private house. Some Landladies are the best souls in the world. All of them are proud and descended from the best early families (you have only to take their word for this). Though they are often inquisitive, their inquisitiveness often comes from their genuine interest in you. Sometimes, the more they know of your family history, the less they will charge you for oil and gas, at the end of the month.

HER RIGHTS

Don't begin too early in the term to make your Landlady's house a noisy abode. She may get impatient and do something hasty, such as even demanding your key, payment and evacuation. In such an event you see the full meaning of her appellation. Whereas, before you may have thought that the word "land" in her title meant to catch, as to land a fish, you now see that it is primarily derived from her ability to come down hard on a special occasion.

THE DUSTING LADY

Don't be discouraged if you can't find anything in the right place after the dusting lady has put things in order. It's a way they have.

YOUR ROOM

Don't neglect taste in your room. How do you know but that somebody may judge you by the way you decorate your study? Presumably, you were not raised in a barn, and there can be no harm in letting the appearance of your room bear out this as fact.

FITTING IT UP

Don't try to make a royal residence of your room. Your taste may alter. A College man's taste often undergoes rapid and violent revolution for the better, within the first year.

A WORD ABOUT RUGS

Don't think that you must have Turkish rugs. Generally, a Freshman cannot tell the real article when he sees it. The man at the sale may try to make you believe they'll never wear out. Never mind. You have only to get them to know what he means. Just get some old, reliable patterns. There is a secret connected with this. The older and dirtier they get, the more Oriental they look. You've no idea how much sweeping this saves.

ABOUT BRIC-A-BRAC

Don't go in for a lot of fine china, the first term. How can you tell but that your neighbors or visitors may not care as much for that sort of thing as you? Remember, that in a room where costly china lies about in profusion, a "rough-house" may be a more expensive variety of entertainment than Grand Opera with seats for the family.

ABOUT DECORATIONS

Don't get angry if a Senior comes into your room and looks about and smiles. Probably, he's only remembering that he once decorated his room the way you now do yours. Just keep your eyes open when you go into older fellows' rooms. You'll soon learn that two crossed college flags, a vile plaster copy of the Venus de Milo, and a copy of the Barye Lion as sole decorations may be lived down,—or later pulled down. If you wish to be exceptionally original, don't go in for either the flags or the casts. Yet, in following years, these things may become good old friends to remind you that you were once a Freshman.

ABOUT FURNITURE

Don't overdo with respect to furniture, even if you can afford it; it may make some of your visitors uncomfortable. If you can't afford it, you'll be made uncomfortable yourself.

THE COLLEGE COLOR

Don't mistake the color of your College. A good many Freshmen do this;—it is especially pathetic, by the way, to see a Freshman waving a flag which is off-color at a big game. Sometimes the mistake is attributed to color-blindness. This is a charitable interpretation.

ABOUT THAT STUDY-DESK

Don't buy a roll-top desk or an iron safe during your first year. You know, you may not care to occupy one room all through College. We heard of one house having to be torn down, that a Freshman might move out with his roll-top desk. Not only this, but when he failed to find another place, a house had to be built up around his cumbersome furniture. It was a case of this or his rooming in the desk.

DONT OVERDO THE DECORATION OF YOUR ROOM

GETTING ON

Don't think that you have fairly got on to things while the tray of your trunk is still unpacked.

TAKING A HAZING

Don't look too sober if hazing happens to be in vogue, and the Sophomores order you about. Remember that you can make the affair either a funeral or a farce; and it's pleasanter to be the leading man in a farce than to be the principal at a funeral. The best way to get along with Sophomores is to take them good-naturedly. Don't be nauseatingly saccharine, for that's just about as bad as getting mad about it. Just fool them into thinking you're enjoying yourself, and they'll stop.

A TRICK ABOUT RECEIVING VISITORS

Don't neglect to receive your visitors as if you were glad to see them. This is not encouraging hypocrisy, inasmuch as the recommendation need not include the laundryman or the tailor's collector. You couldn't fool them, anyway. It is not polite, when visitors come, always to be found with a green shade over your eyes. When a visitor calls, look as if you had just been waiting for some one to talk to. If you improve your time between visitors, they ought not to cause you to waste any valuable time.

MUSICAL TEMPERANCE

Don't play the piano at all hours. Have a regular time for practice; then your neighbors may protect themselves. If you play the violin or the trumpet, don't overdo it; you are tempting Fate.

THE PROCTOR

Don't incur the anger of your Proctor by noisy conduct or disrespect. Proctors—especially young ones—are apt to feel their oats and to report you on slight provocation. But a friendly Proctor is a friend worth having.

AS TO DRESS

VARSITY AND PREP-SCHOOL FASHIONS

ON'T wear your Prep-school hat-band, or flash your High-school Fraternity pin upon your almost manly chest. These are stock idiosyncrasies of the Freshman. Just remember that School fashions do not prevail at College.

THE "SPORTY" DRESSER

Don't dress too "sporty," during the first term. The effects you try to imitate at this period of the game are apt to be only the superficial and amusing ones.

A SHORT WORD ABOUT LONG HAIR

Don't wear long hair. Hair, if left to grow as it listeth, may attain to a surprising length within a single season. The Freshman year is not the time to test the accuracy of this statement. Wait till you are a Sophomore; then you won't care to. Remember that long hair is the Poet's privilege (though not always proof of a Poet). To wear long hair, you had better take out a Poet's license. In this respect a dog-license will do if you fail to qualify as Poet.

WHISKERS AND SUCH

Don't feel it incumbent upon you to wear a beard or a moustache, if you happen to have raised one on the farm or in England, during the summer. Whiskers are the plus sign of masculinity. Upper-classmen do not appreciate them in Freshmen.

ABOUT THOSE SPARKLERS

Don't wear too much jewelry; as an over-amount of it suggests trips to places where they loan money.

DONT DRESS TOO SPORTY

HORSY ORNAMENTS

Don't affect stick-pins bearing large horses' heads or horseshoes, thinking these will demonstrate that you keep a gig. The horsy ornament connotes the coachman's white tie and the odor of the stable.

THAT CANE

Don't carry a cane in your Freshman year; something is very likely to happen to it.

THAT TALL HAT

Don't be found displaying a tall hat. A tall hat is a mighty nice thing for Sister's wedding at home; but better leave it there. Its dignity is liable to fade, like the glory that was Greece and the grandeur that was Rome. It was only because those nations got too chesty, you remember, that the Vandals of old worried them.

CRAZY MEN—CRAZY CLOTHES

Don't think that crazy or odd clothes are necessarily "College" clothes. Lots of College men do wear crazy clothes; but it isn't so much because they're College men, as because they're crazy.

SANE DRESS

Don't forget to dress neatly and up to your means. You owe it to yourself to dress as well as you can. I don't mean that owing this to yourself should necessitate your continually owing something to your tailor. You do not owe it to yourself to owe anybody.

AS TO DINING

YOUR DINING PLACE

ON'T begin by resorting habitually to the Quick Lunch. Nobody ever made friends at a Quick Lunch, except with the waitresses. Select a good place where there are lots of fellows whom you will see continually. You ought to pick out some good friends from among them.

YOUR TABLE

Don't attempt, in a large dining hall, to get a place at a society, club, or athletic table for which you have not yet qualified. You are liable to queer yourself from the start.

TABLE TALK

Don't try continually to air the sum of knowledge which you are just assimilating. There are few things more pathetic than the first-year chemist who keeps asking you at table to "pass the NaCl," or the fledgling psychologist who would try to prove that bread-and-butter is matter for the mind and not for the stomach.

DONT MONOPOLIZE THE CONVERSATION AT THE TABLE

LOCAL EGOTISM

Don't keep telling how they do things in that part of the country which you come from. The assumption is, that since you came to College, you are willing to learn something of how they do things here.

LISTENING TO OTHERS

Don't monopolize the conversation at the table, especially if there are older men around. You'll get yourself snubbed if you talk too much about yourself. Fellows don't care much whether your grandfather kept a brake and ten horses, or drove a "shay" over the plank-road. Be a good listener. Then, too, older men like to be listened to. The chances are you will learn a sight more by hearing them than they will by hearing you.

KNOCKING THE GRUB

Don't continually find fault with the things you have to eat. Act as if you were used to eating away from home. Half the time the jokes you make at the expense of the food come merely from an uncontrollable desire to air your wit. "Knocking the grub" doesn't require half so much brains or individuality as shutting up about it.

AS TO LECTURES AND STUDIES

ATTENDANCE AT LECTURES

ON'T forget to attend a large per cent. of your lectures. The information dispensed in lectures is often to be found invaluable in passing the Examinations.

CHOOSING COURSES

Don't let yourself be mesmerized into taking a lot of things you feel a positive disinclination for. Many a Freshman has spoiled his first year in this way; and, failing to pass, has left College and become a street-car conductor or a clerk.

"SNAP" COURSES

Don't mistake the willingness to accept a "snap" course for a startling aptitude for a subject.

ELECTIVE SYSTEM

Don't abuse the Elective System if you are privileged to be at a College where it is employed. It is a system which presupposes your own interest in your intellectual welfare. It is too easy to fill up with a lot of unrelated subjects. You may say, "But I desire a broad education." Very good. Did you ever go to a circus? There the prettiest feats are performed upon the broad, spacious back of one horse. The rider gets the broadest-backed critter he can find that will keep moving. Those who ride two and three horses take a risk. In College you may find that when you try to do the intellectual split, you're liable to fall down between your horses.

ABOUT MEETING PROFESSORS

Don't neglect any honest opportunities you may have to make friends with an Instructor or a Professor. Meeting Teachers represents a privilege and not always necessarily a pull. As for knowing Professors intimately, few do, except other Professors. As for their knowing us intimately, it might seem as if this seldom happens, until it comes time to expel us.

MALINGERING

Don't try to fool the College Doctor into believing that you can't go to lectures, or are going to die, because you've sprained your left thumb. Generally, the College Doctor is a shrewd man, or he would not be the College Doctor.

ABOUT REQUIRED READING

Don't fail to make a list of the required reading in any course. And do some of it—say, a little more than will enable you merely to pass the Exam. It is barely possible that the reading you have done in connection with your College courses will some day prove you an educated man. As for doing all the reading that all the Professors require—well, a fellow must sleep and eat.

WORKING FOR EXAMS

Don't think that Exams can be passed without any preparation. It takes some. The minimum has not yet been determined; nor has the maximum. The middlemum has even been known to vary, according as the instructor imagines that the crowd is or is not taking the course as a snap. The little birdies are surely in league with the Faculty.

INTELLECTUAL NARCOTICS

Don't rely upon special tutors to pass all your courses. It's lazy and not entirely self-respecting. When our friend Gulliver went to Laputa, he met certain Teachers who gave their pupils small intellectual wafers. These they swallowed upon empty stomachs. As the wafers digested, the tincture mounted to the pupil's brain, bearing the proposition along with it. The same system of cramming exists today; only it doesn't always work as advertised. A fellow resorts to special tutors when he has lost confidence, and needs an intellectual narcotic. Special tutors represent the drug-capsule of learning. Why be a dope-fiend?

IN THE EXAMS

Don't try in your Exams to make a hit by writing long papers. The Exam is not an endurance contest. Somehow, long papers don't take, unless there is some sense in everything you have written. If you don't believe this, try it and find out.

PREDIGESTED INFORMATION

Don't rely wholly upon typewritten notes to get through your courses. Many College Professors show no quarter to those whom they ascertain to be addicted to this predigested form of information. Often the Professor's life-specialty is the tracing of literary works to their sources; so be careful. Better take notes in lectures; if this serve no other purpose, 'twill keep you awake.

PUTTING OFF WORK

Don't put off that long piece of written work till the night before it is due. A piece of work about which you have been warned months beforehand, can't be done between 8 p.m. and 3 a.m. Here "rush orders," contrary to the rule, spoil. If you come up to the scratch as you should, in the matter of long pieces of written work, the Instructor will almost forget how dog-goned lazy you have been all along in the little things.

IDLING

Don't idle away time to such an extent that you get a reputation as an idler, either among your friends, or with the members of the Faculty. You'll find such a reputation hard to live down. Notwithstanding the fact that everybody is supposed to come by a love of Learning in College, there are some things which the Faculty will not take for granted. With the Faculty, the chronic idler will find that his name is anathema, or Dennis at least.

DONT FAIL TO KEEP IN MIND THE STEPS OF DESCENT

THE DESCENT TO AVERNUS

Don't fail to keep in mind the flight of steps which represents the descent from the plane of regular work. It goes something like this: work, slack work, probation, special probation, then, "I am sorry to inform you that the Faculty has decided that you are no longer needed to ornament the College," etc. After which, it is the greased-slide, down and out, so to speak. In other words, you are about to feel the thrill of Academic life along your keel for the last time. Facilis descensus Averni: Avernus being the cold, cold world, and the bother of having to explain to one's relations and friends in the home town how it all happened.

THE COLLEGE OFFICE

Don't show disrespect or contempt for the College Dean, or for the retinue within his gates. Once you "queer" yourself with the College Office, you are on dangerous footing, and the College Degree you seek is no longer seen to be "constant as the northern star." Keep the Degree in mind; hitch your wagon to it. But don't get too ambitious in the way of Degrees. We once heard of a fellow who was called up and given the Third Degree by the Faculty, without ever being graduated.

AS TO COLLEGE ORGANIZATIONS AND FRIENDS

TRYING FOR THINGS

ON'T hesitate to go out for any teams or papers or musical clubs which you think you'd like to make. The mere trying for things shows you're not a dead one. If you are good enough, you'll find these things mean more than you ever had thought they could; if you fail to make them, you'll never regret having tried. As you grow older, you will see that you never could have done certain things you thought you could, and you'll have a first-rate opinion of your former self and your ambition.

SORTING OUT YOUR INTERESTS

Don't be surprised or disappointed, if you find you have neither time nor inclination to keep up with everything you thought you would, when first coming to College. Your interests naturally needed a sorting out.

ONE WAY NOT TO MAKE A TEAM

Don't think that offering suggestions to an athletic Coach is the way to make a team. And don't answer back if the Coach speaks harshly to you; be thankful for any of his attention, even if it be gruff. With some Coaches, swearing is more than a liberal art; many think that the oftener they send their men to Hell during practice, the surer they are of sending them to Victory in the contest.

ABOUT SOCIAL CLUBS

Don't, for Heaven's sake, ask people how one ought to go about getting into Social clubs. It isn't considered polite. Just why, I can't tell you; but you'll learn why, some day, if you are the right sort.

DONT ANSWER BACK IF THE COACH SPEAKS HARSHLY TO YOU

ACQUAINTANCES AND FRIENDS

Don't hesitate to accept all chances for making friends, especially among your Class. Don't think that you can always control the making of friends; you can't. Friends are Heaven-sent. Hold the ones you make, and count yourself lucky if you make half a dozen very good friends your first year. There is a difference between acquaintances and friends, by the way, just as there is a difference between fellows to whom you'd casually offer a cigarette and those to whom you'd gladly offer your pocket-book.

USELESS PREJUDICE

Don't rely too much on prejudice in deciding what certain fellows may or may not be good for. You may or may not be right. Your standard may or may not be the only small stone on the seashore.

ABOUT VISITING

Don't invite everybody you meet to your room. It doesn't pay. But make a point of accepting as many invitations as possible which come from men you like. Visit any upper-classman who takes the trouble to offer you his hospitality. It may help you to get on, later.

THAT HAND-SHAKE

Don't shake hands like a clam. The flipper-shake is not popular, and may make you distrusted. You'll need a good hand-shake all through College.

THE WOMAN QUESTION: THE QUESTIONABLE

Don't be one of those who continually pick up anything on the street that wears a bonnet and high heels. There are lots of girls who are willing, at any time, to be seen with a College man. The varieties differ. Some are genuinely pretty; others wear the deliberate as distinguished from the natural complexion, being perhaps not so well preserved as carefully preserved. Maybe you think it is great fun to take a partner into the small hotel dining-room with an "I-do-this-every-evening" kind of air. But you may find out, after smoking your brandy and drinking your cigarettes, that it isn't pleasant to be played for a "good thing."

THE UNQUESTIONABLE

Don't, however, neglect any opportunity to meet ladies of your own station. You are sure to require their society from time to time. The Monastic life is not profitable for a man at College. The purr of pretty women and the occasional exchange of amicable nothings will preserve your social soul and keep the little blood-pumping organ in good condition.

THE ART OF SHUTTING UP

Don't hesitate to hear other people's opinions. The World did not begin, nor will it end, with you.

WHERE SUCCESS FAILS

Don't strut or look patronizing, if you happen to have success; it makes people feel sorry for you.

THE LITTLE THINGS

Don't forget the little things; fellows notice them. Some will even judge you by the way you give or receive a match or cigarette.

SUMMING UP THE CLUB PROBLEM

Don't imagine that your entire success in College will be finally measured by the number of Clubs you make during your first year. Always remember, that it is the standing of the ones you identify yourself with which counts. Don't join any final Club or Society until you feel pretty sure you could not do better.

AS TO THINGS IN GENERAL

SAVING AND WASTING

ON'T expect to lay up a bank account by what you save from living inside your allowance. There are lots of unexpected things coming up which cost money. Only be careful and choose the things that seem necessary. You can't save much money; but you don't have to waste a cent to live and be a gentleman.

WRITING HOME

Don't forget to write home once every so often. Mama and Papa are always glad to see the College-town postmark; and, like as not, Papa is paying your way through College. Think how you'd feel, if he forgot, sometimes, to send that check!

WHEN FATHER COMES TO TOWN

Don't treat Father or Uncle John shabbily if one of them happens in town unexpectedly. Maybe you'll have a son or a nephew in the old place one day; and then you'll like to take a run out, once in a while, and see how things are getting on.

SHOWING OFF AT HOME

Don't swagger when you go home for your first Thanksgiving or Christmas vacation. It doesn't make your friends envious of you. It's apt to make them sore.

RUNNING BILLS

Don't think that because you can charge things at almost any store in the College Town, it is your duty to have your name on the books of every firm. You don't need to back every enterprise; besides, most every firm has a habit of rendering monthly bills, and a few of these make even a fair allowance look washed out and faded.

THAT AUTOMOBILE

Don't think that it is your Father's duty to present you with an automobile. In Father's day, it was possible for a boy to go through College without one of these things. Remember that it cost a few pence to repair them and run them;—or rather run them and then repair them; and Father's twenty years in business have taught him a few things. Many a father would as soon buy his son an auto, but is not willing to endow one.

DONT PAWN YOUR WATCH DURING YOUR FIRST YEAR

ABOUT PAWNING YOUR WATCH

Don't pawn your watch or sleeve-links during your first year. This privilege is limited to upper-classmen who do Society. A pawn-ticket is a very compromising thing if found by some of your close relatives. You don't know what it is? It is a thin slip of paper somewhat resembling a check; only it weighs more heavily on the mind. No matter how funny a story you make at home of pawning your Grandfather's watch, the heads of the family never see the joke. When you rake in the price of exchange for your pawned watch, it seems just like finding money, but when you pay it back out of a slim allowance at the end of the month, it seems like losing the same amount, plus.

GETTING HOOKED ON

Don't buy cigars in wholesale quantities from mysterious-looking foreigners, who say they have just done a neat little job of smuggling from Havana, and are willing to let you in on a good thing. They may even flatter you by telling you that you look trustworthy. They really mean that you look easy. It's your move.

BEGGARS

Don't give money to able-bodied beggars. Some may even speak good French or German. If you happen to be taking French or German, you will imagine that you are the only one in the world who can help them. But don't yield. As for crippled or blind and deaf beggars, help them now and then. You don't have to listen to their reminiscences of Life in a Saw-mill to do this, unless you care for that sort of thing.

QUESTIONS OF CONSCIENCE—YOUR OWN BUSINESS

Don't kill your conscience in regard to matters which you have been brought up to see in certain definite lights. If you think playing cards for money and the drinking of beer wrong, then don't play and don't indulge. You'll never be thought less of in College for hanging on to principle. Just be sure that your principles are worth sticking up for, and then stick. A wise old Englishman puts it this way: "Obey your conscience; but just be sure that your conscience is not that of an ass."

THE 52 PASTEBOARDS

Don't get into the little game too often. Under certain conditions it's as easy as rolling off the decalogue. Sometimes you get in because you're afraid others will think you are afraid to play. This is really not courage. A word more: when you're in, often the time when you think you can't afford to stop is just the time when you can best afford it. Take this advice; it is better than that of R. E. Morse.

SPENDING MONEY

Don't keep spending money for a lot of things that you would hardly care to itemize in the account you send to Father. Remember how he said, "I'll keep you decently, only I don't want College to make only a sport of my boy." Sometimes, when you are pressed, you think of asking Father to lend you money to be paid back with interest, when you get older. Don't be surprised if he refuses and asks, "Where's your collateral?" Remember that the Business World, hunting about for something to which to attach its respect and admiration, does not single out the Undergraduate in College.

EARNING MONEY

Don't be ashamed of chances to earn money in College, if you need it. More fellows earn their way through College than you have any idea of. College men have lots of respect for a fellow who isn't ashamed to work.

THE DEAD GAME ACT

Don't be a Sport or a Snob. Either is fatal. The dead game act plays itself out sooner than those who work it suppose, and serves oftener to point a weakness than adorn a virtue.

IMITATING

Don't imitate the manner of some one else. When you try to be like some one else, you only succeed in being unlike yourself. People don't expect or want you to be like them.

THE FANCY INCOME POSE

Don't pretend that you have a fancy income, if you haven't. It's a cheap, expensive pose. Lots of fellows get money regularly from home. All they have to do, it would seem, is to rip open letters and sign their names on the back of what falls out. If you aren't in this class, don't pretend you are. It isn't how much money you've got, but how you make what you've got do, that shows you up a good one.

THAT BANK ACCOUNT

Don't fail to keep one eye on that bank account. It slowly and surely dwindles. It needs watching especially, about the time the elms put on their new leaves, and the undergraduates their new flannel trousers. To end the year with an over-drawn bank account is risky. No fellow can afford to have his credit go below par.

EXERCISE

Don't neglect the health habit. Substitute the tennis racquet for the cigarette, one of these days, and note the difference. It may make you feel like a King in the pink of condition; after which you'll probably try it again, which won't hurt you a bit.

JOKES

Don't repeat all the jokes that come into your head. Avoid especially jokes that may be old. Many a fellow's popularity may hinge on the fact that he'll listen to a funny story without insisting on telling another that isn't quite so funny.

SHOWING OFF

Don't, if you are from a large well-to-do Preparatory School, talk too much about it, or think that the College must be run on the same plan as your school. Your views may not be appreciated.

SWAGGERING

Don't aspire to be taken for an upper-classman by cultivating a walk or a swagger or an air. You can work this so hard, that finally you are the only one deceived.

ROWDYISM

Don't be rowdyish, or get the reputation of being a drunken fellow. The real fun you get out of College need not be a continual round of batting.

ABOUT BEING SNUBBED

Don't think it is always entirely the other man's fault if he fails to speak to you. If you have not the ability to make an impression worth another's remembering, look to yourself.

COLLEGE HABITS

Don't be a fool. This is the sum and the substance of all that herein precedes. A fellow shows himself a fool or not a fool by his habits. College habits are funny things. The sooner you form your College habits the better,—or worse. To put off the sensible resolve till the time of your last exam may be as useless as the call of the doctor after the minister has left.

ABOUT BEING THE ASS

Don't imagine for a moment that coming to College enables you to act in a superior way to others who have not enjoyed the same privilege. A College career is a grand, good thing; but its object is to enable you, if possible, better to understand the World, not to lift you at all above it. The World hates a fool; but a College-bred fool, it thoroughly despises. Don't let your ears grow long, and don't bray.

ABOUT BEING A GENTLEMAN

Don't imagine that the College Catalogue, or even this book, can tell you all the things you need to know concerning how to make a man of yourself. After all, its really up to you. Look about, and be a gentleman. You say, "But these few remarks hardly begin to solve the problem." And echo answers, "VERBUM SAP."

HERE ENDS THE COLLEGE FRESHMAN'S DON'T BOOK BY G. F. E. (A. B.) A SYMPATHIZER. DECORATIONS AND INITIALS BY RAYMOND CARTER ILLUSTRATIONS BY CHARLES FRANK INGERSON PUBLISHED BY PAUL ELDER & COMPANY AND PRINTED FOR THEM BY THE TOMOYE PRESS UNDER THE DIRECTION OF J. H. NASH IN THE CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO DURING THE MONTH OF MAY AND YEAR NINETEEN HUNDRED & TEN

Transcriber's Notes:

All of the illustration captions omit the apostrophe in the word "DON'T." This was retained. All other punctuation was corrected if wrong.

Page 9, "you" changed to "your" (your trunk is still)

Page 19, repeated word "to" deleted from text. Original read (liable to to fall down...)

Page 29, "varities" changed to "varieties" (The varieties differ)

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE COLLEGE FRESHMAN'S DON'T BOOK ***

Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed.

Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution.

START: FULL LICENSE

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG™ LICENSE

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license.

Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg electronic works

1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States.

1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg.

1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg License.

1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg electronic works provided that:

- • You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”

- • You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works.

- • You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work.

- • You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.

1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.

1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg work, and (c) any Defect you cause.

Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg

Project Gutenberg is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.

Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.

The Foundation’s business office is located at 41 Watchung Plaza #516, Montclair NJ 07042, USA, +1 (862) 621-9288. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact

Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.

Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg electronic works

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.

Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org.

This website includes information about Project Gutenberg, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.

Table of Contents

- THE COLLEGE FRESHMAN'S DON'T BOOK
- CONTENTS
- ILLUSTRATIONS
- AS TO THE PLACE
- AS TO SETTLING DOWN
- AS TO DRESS
- AS TO DINING
- AS TO LECTURES AND STUDIES
- AS TO COLLEGE ORGANIZATIONS AND FRIENDS

- AS TO THINGS IN GENERAL

- Transcriber's Notes:

- THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG™ LICENSE